4 years gone

So on Monday Adam and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary. It seems so odd to me that we've been together that long...it just doesn't seem possible!!! ;-) We've lived together for 3 of those four years and its been a wild ride.

A couple people call us the "power couple". We get along 90% of the time...we never fight and if we don't agree or become agitated with one another its idle bickering but that is about it. We usually have a way of saying our peace without screaming and then moving on. Neither one of us really dwell on anything either. Once its resolved its forgotten and not brought up again!! We really are good together.

Speaking with my Aunt Tari today we discussed how Adam and I have hurdled many obstacles in the four years we've been together. Our relationship started out on a very rocky path and many didn't expect anything serious to come of it. Most swore we'd be lucky if we lasted a year. At times I never expected us to really last; was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We had a lot thrown at us and somehow we managed to weather the storm. Looking back on the last four years some say its amazing we came out not only on top but with a strong and loving relationship still in tact. We are a team in every sense of the word and we protect each other and our children with every fiber of our being. We both bust our butts to ensure that the kids have what they need when they need it regardless of the situation!!

When we first started dating four years ago I was newly separated from my husband and very unsure if I wanted a relationship. But something inside me said if I let him get away some other girl would snatch him up and I'd lose him. We had a lot of chemistry right off the bat and seemed to just connect and fit together perfectly as if it was always meant to be him and I. Our personalities meshed beautifully and we really brought out the best in each other.

Adam was my rock through my divorce and battle over the custody of my son. He stood by me and held me through my tears and reassured my fears of losing Matthew to his father because his family had the money and resources to hire better lawyers and my ex-husband had better resources available to him. But through the support of Adam, my grandmother and two special ladies in my life (Tari & Melinda) I got to keep my son and continue raising him.

Shortly after I was diagnosed with stage 1b cervical cancer. I was devastated; having just overcome the battles and emotional strain of a divorce and custody but now I had cancer. And to add salt to the wound my grandfather became very sick at that same time and passed away so much quicker than we all expected. I was lucky though, they caught it early and after a few months of massive fatigue and surgery they were able to cut it all out and prevent it from spreading. I never even needed chemo or any other treatments. I considered myself literally touched by an angel. The surgery was a success and I was going to get my health back.

Adam was with me for ever step of that process and took such good care of not only me but my 2 1/2 year old son. He worked extra long hours so that I could stop working to take care of my health and my child. We struggled financially but while out of work I was able to fight and beat the cancer and finish my college degree. Thanks to Adam and his support, love and never ending encouragement I was able to achieve something that seemed impossible. I became a college graduate after 10 long years of chipping away and chipping away at it.

They told me after beating the cancer that if I was able to conceive a child successfully I had high chances of miscarriage because of the surgery and because now my cervix was very weak and vulnerable. I was heartbroken even thinking of the possibility that I'd not have another baby. I wanted one more baby so badly.

Six months after my cervical surgery I had a bad attack of pain and needed emergency surgery to have my gall bladder removed. Adam was by my side and again taking excellent care of me as I healed. He was wonderful with me and so good to Matty while I was laid up and is always so good to me. A few months after that surgery I became pregnant. At 9 weeks and 4 days we lost our sweet little baby to a chromosomal defect and had to have a D&E procedure done...so once again I was laid up and healing.

We battled so much over the four years. Adam had a real rough transition going from independent bachelor with little responsibility to full blown family man. And who can blame him...to go from only worrying about yourself to instantly taking care of your sick girlfriend and her young child...what a load to carry and he carried it beautifully with no complains...not many men out there would do that willingly and with such grace!!!! I admire and respect and love him so much for all of that. We weathered every storm and came out with tiny battle scars but remained together and stronger than ever. Through all of this we still love each other just as much if not more and we still can laugh and play and enjoy one another. I take pride in that.

Just two months after the miscarriage we got pregnant again totally by accident when we least expected it. We were not planning on trying again until after the holidays but low and behold, just two days before my birthday I found out we had conceived another little miracle. Oh boy were we terrified. We were scared of a repeat miscarriage...we were scared of our money struggles and my inability to have gotten back to work just yet to help with those money troubles. There was so much to be excited and terrified about all at once.

The pregnancy was so rough. I scared Adam and myself so many times going into premature labor with Bailey. We were in the hospital over night a half dozen times stopping the contractions and having SOOOO many ultrasounds to watch for my cervical thinning issues. It was a very different experience and scared the crap out of me the entire time. I was so terrified I was going to lose her or that something would be wrong if I delivered too early and well a million awful things ran through my head.

We gave birth a month early after a rough pregnancy and a huge emotional ride. I feared it would have all put a strain on our relationship but it didn't and we're still going strong. And now we are proud and happy parents to two beautiful children. We have been raising Matthew together for the last 4 years and now we've added Bailey to complete our perfectly blended family!!! We function so well together as a couple, as parents and as a family...I am so proud of the life I have found (even though it gets very rough sometimes and overwhelming and emotionally exhausting)...I still wouldn't' trade an inch of it.

I am so in love with Adam and cannot wait to be his wife. I have already had the honor of mothering his child; now I just await the honor of being asked to be his wife. We have our hard times and our obstacles and bad weather but we always seem to come out on top no matter what and its a good feeling knowing that together we really can get through anything...regardless of how rough it is.

On Monday night to celebrate our anniversary we went to the Melting Pot (fondue restaurant). We have been dying to go and were so glad to have gotten the opportunity!!! We had so much fun and were able to really talk about or past, our present and of course our future together. We are both very serious about getting married within the next year (not that we're officially engaged yet) and we're dead set on doing it in VEGAS. And we're offering up to anyone who wants to be apart of our marriage and witness this event to start saving your pennies now to join us in VEGAS. We have to select our date and work out the details but that is by far how we want it done.

I have an awesome new friend who lives like 4 hours from Vegas and she said she'd even drive down and do my photography so that is making me SOOO excited because she is so talented and has done some of the most beautiful and creative portraits and so I am so appreciative to have met her and for her willing to do that for me so that I can have documentation and memories of what is going to be such a special and amazingly beautiful moment!!! :-) YAH!!!!

Ok well that is enough mushy babbling out of me...its getting late and 4:30am comes so fast so I better get my butt to bed!!!! My lover will be home soon to take over baby duty so that I can sleep for work!!! We don't get much time together these days but I love the moments we do get together!!!